October 24, 2021

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Athletes To Sleep On ‘Anti-sex’ Cardboard Beds At Olympic Games Amid COVID

Olympic competitors should think twice before stepping on Tokyo’s bedrock.

The world’s greatest athletes will sleep on cardboard mattresses, which are purportedly engineered to collapse under the weight of fornicators in order to prevent sex during COVID-19.

According to Dezeen magazine, Olympic organisers have set up 18,000 of the cardboard mattresses in the notoriously sex-crazed athletes’ village, who have already cautioned 2021 Games attendees to avoid two-person push-ups due to the coronavirus.

“Beds in the Tokyo Olympic Village will be made of cardboard, which is intended to discourage intimacy among athletes,” tweeted American distance runner Paul Chelimo.

“Beds will be able to support the weight of a single person in order to avoid circumstances other than sports,” Chelimo joked.

“I don’t see any issues for distance runners; even four of us can do it.”

Olympic athletes have never shied away from hanky panky, but officials have cautioned that with the pandemic, it could be more troublesome this year.

Airweave, a Japanese business, invented the 100 percent recyclable cardboard beds.

Officials appear to realise, though, that it will take a lot more than improvised berths to keep players out of pole position.

They’re handing out condoms to the athletes, just like they’ve done at every Olympic Games since 1988.

The total number of condoms distributed this year is 160,000.

Still, it’s a far cry from the 450,000 tickets distributed for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

This year, Olympic organisers insist that the rubber be taken home by the participants to help spread the message of healthy sex.

In a statement to Japan Today, the Tokyo Olympics Organizing Committee said, “Our objective and goal is not for athletes to use condoms at the Olympic Village, but to help with awareness by taking them back to their home countries.”

Officials reported Sunday that at least two athletes have tested positive for the coronavirus at the Tokyo Olympic Village.

Another Villager, a foreign visitor involved in the Games’ organising, was alleged to have tested positive the day before.

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