The assumption surrounding sex is that it will conclude with an orgasm for both lovers — preferably at the same moment, as propagated by steamy on-screen interactions.
The reality, however, does not support this. Particularly in the heterosexual sex.
Men are twice as likely as women to experience orgasm during heterosexual relationships, according to a well-known phenomenon known as “The Orgasm Gap.”,
According to research, just 65% of heterosexual women orgasm during sex “usually” or “always,” compared to 95% of heterosexual men.
This is significantly different for lesbian and bisexual women, with 86 percent orgasming on a regular basis.
In reality, one-third of women have difficulty reaching orgasm on a regular basis, and one out of every ten sexually active women has never experienced orgasm.
Orgasms contribute to increased sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and feelings of empowerment. Increased sexual satisfaction has also been shown to improve relationship satisfaction.
Orgasms aren’t required for pleasurable and satisfying sex.
In fact, I believe this is one of the most important sex misconceptions we need to dispel.
But it can be frustrating and unpleasant for both of you if you want to attain climax but can’t quite get there.
Both parties may have feelings of inadequacy and guilt as a result of their interactions.
What is the source of the Orgasm Gap?
There are several reasons that contribute to The Orgasm Gap.
The orgasm gap is exacerbated by a lack of sexual education, as well as sexual expectations for women.
Many women are unaware of what they love sexually, struggle with the idea that sex can be about their enjoyment (rather than only their partner’s), and may find it difficult to communicate their desires to their partners.
Only a tiny fraction of women are believed to be unable to reach orgasm (due to the effects of medications or medical disorders), but with the correct advice and practical suggestions, the majority of women may learn to reach orgasm.
This is one of the most prevalent difficulties that women and couples seek my help with as a Couples Therapist and Sexologist.
There are strategies that have been found to boost the chances of you (or your partner) experiencing orgasm.
Throughout the day, build anticipation.
Sexy is a mental state. Women who send their spouses provocative text messages throughout the day or wear beautiful lingerie in anticipation of sex had a higher likelihood of experiencing orgasm, according to research.
Spend more time on foreplay.
Women who don’t spend enough time on foreplay are one of the most prevalent reasons they can’t achieve orgasm.
To prepare for sex, women’s bodies go through a series of intricate changes.
These alterations assist us in avoiding pain while also increasing pleasure. It takes roughly 15 minutes to make these adjustments.
Spending at least 15-20 minutes with a woman enhances her chances of orgasm and can boost both couples’ satisfaction.
In foreplay, use the ‘golden trio’ of motions.
Our odds of attaining orgasm are boosted when oral sex, hand-genital stimulation, and deep kissing are incorporated during foreplay, according to research.
Find out what you enjoy.
We are solely responsible for our own enjoyment. It’s difficult to give feedback to a spouse when we don’t know what we appreciate.
Find out what you enjoy. There are a variety of instructional resources available to assist ladies who are unaware.
Climax, for example, looked out how over 90,000 women enjoy themselves and shared the most popular tactics with their partners.
Learn to express your preferences to a spouse.
The ability to converse openly and honestly about sex has been linked to higher sexual satisfaction.
We need to let go of the notion that asking for input or expressing our desires somehow ‘breaks the mood’ or isn’t required. Creating a culture of open discussion about sex can make both of you happier.
Use clitoral stimulation directly.
There’s a widespread sex fallacy that women should achieve orgasm solely through penetration. This isn’t accurate at all.
A third of women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
Another third of people think orgasm is more pleasurable when clitoral stimulation is involved.
Use your hands, a specially designed clitoral vibrator, or a couple’s toy to stimulate the clitoris.